Ran into a friend at a coffee shop last week.

They asked me how I was doing.

I wanted to lie to save face.

“Sad” I said.

My friend was not startled by this.

They listened (I had tears in my eyes from the sadness when, suddenly, they were sitting across from me at my table in the coffee shop).

I am realizing that I am sad about our older boy growing up. He’s only in kindergarten, but it’s been really hard on me.

I know… get some guts… other people have REAL things to be sad about Kevin. Like racism and hurricanes. (I’m sad about those things too. BIG TIME.)

I know – Every kid and parent goes through this season…

Get it together man – it’s no big deal. 

Those are the two lies I tell myself. Those are my sadnesses. To me, it is really real.

I’m sad that he has to navigate this world M-F from 7:55am-3:10pm without his mom or dad. (He’s doing wonderful at this by the way.)

I’m sad that he’s so tall that he barely fits on my lap anymore. (But… he can reach the top shelf of the fridge and get his own dang cup of milk now.)

So – what to do with the sadness?

Let it be sad… grieve some… cherish the memories… and..

SLOWLY Learn to Let Go.

Letting go is REAL tough. I tell myself that I want control over all of these things…

But really I don’t.

I want to learn to trust God more – and to let him into the sadness in a real and comforting way.

I’m learning that being vulnerable (even with sadness) is a good thing. It allows me to be me, and hopefully gives license to those around me to do the same.

That big boy of ours (the Tallest kid in 100 kindergarteners in his school) is going to be just fine… he’ll navigate the change with his wonderful teacher, and with us in the evenings and weekends…

I’ll be sad – maybe for longer than I’d like to admit… but I’ll be fine too. I’ve got tons to learn about this being a daddy thing, but I’m willing to let it shape me. I think.

Phew – there it is. Off my chest.

May we all dive deep into the sadness – meeting it head on and in vulnerability. May it shape us as we learn to let Go each day and trust Something/One mightier than ourselves.

KE