Wow. What an ending.

Up three. Other team scores a 3 pointer to tie it.

4.7 seconds left.

Dribble down. Pass. Shoot. Score. Game.

Finishing strong is rare quality.

I feel like I am a good starter. Finishing can be a different story sometimes.

I need to work hard in order to be ready to finish strong. To be ready for the pass from a teammate. To have the self awareness and confidence to hit that last shot.

We all have places in our lives, business, ministry and relationship were we need to stay the course, keep our eyes on the prize and finish strong.

Readiness is key. Will we be prepared? Practiced?

Where is that for you today? This week?

The buzzer will go off.

Will we be ready before it does?

Kevin

Real, deep, rich, honest, grace-filled friendship is a rare things these days.

We had the privilege of experiencing all of those things this past weekend in Chicago, spending the weekend with some dear friends.

I lived with the Derrington’s in Sacramento for a couple of years well over a decade ago.

Eric and I watched a lot of baseball, grilled a bunch, talked business and ministry while Sabrina went to medical school. (When she wasn’t busy studying, she joined us too!)

Both of their lives have had tremendous impact on my life and growth since those days in the early 2000’s.

They moved to Los Angeles, I wept, and we didn’t see much of each other. We did stay in decent touch over the phone though.

They had kids, we had kids, they moved from LA to Chicago, we moved to Michigan.

The impact that they have had in my life continues into Sarah’s life and the life of our boys. And it’s really crazy how much we love them and their kids! Sarah and I would do ANYTHING for them. And we know they would do the same for us.

Pause – tears well up in my eyes. I’m so thankful.

Through it all though, the intentionality of friendship kept us from drifting apart. It’s phone call here and there. A text. A little road trip to spend some life together.

Sure, there were screaming kids throwing tantrums, snotty noses, & sweet moments of sharing between the littles this past weekend. Parts of it were exhausting, but more parts were life giving.

We’ve lived life together – through lots of thick and thin. We vacation together, attempt to care for and raise our kids together, eat great food and drink great wine together. We talk about real things: finances, work, faith, child rearing, marriage.

If you haven’t noticed, together is the theme of our friendship.

Funny thing is, they are supporters of our YL work too. They are really in it with us – in so many ways.

Friends become donors, donors become friends. At the end of the day, friends are friends. 

Eric and Sabrina have seen us at our best and at our worse. And they still love us.

And man, do we love them.

Kevin

PS – there is a great story here about what it means to inhabit the lives of people. Note verse 7 especially – “Do not move around from house to house.” I love that Jesus values stable relationships, and living life in real community. Eating together, praying together, sharing time and space with each other. May we each strive to have long term, loyal, sacrificial and consistent relationships with those that God has put in our lives.

 

Driving in the car.

Stuck in Chicago traffic.

“Dad! B-man is throwing up all over himself!”

Sarah is driving. I am reaching over the carseat, trying to clean the 1.5 year old up.

Sarah pulls over, and we dive into the mess together.

B-man stands buck naked on the sidewalk. In the rain. Crying.

Grab a new set of clothes from the trunk. Get warm in the front seat with mom. Clean up the car seat with a bunch of baby wipes.

Get back on the road. Fight traffic to our final destination. 9 miles in 79 minutes.

Messes can sneak up on us. They catch us by surprise every now and then.

If we sit in them… well….it gets stinky…

If we meet the mess head on, pause to pull over, and lean into fighting the mess with a teammate, we might actually make some progress in cleaning up the mess.

What type of messes do we find ourselves in today?

It could be something big or small in marriage.

Maybe a remark made to a colleague that  we regret. Dive in. Own it and ask for forgiveness or grace.

Or we treated a customer dishonestly.

Stop now. Clean it up. Make it right with that colleague/partner/spouse/customer.

When we enter the mess, relationships stay in tact, we build trust with those around us, and ideas, mission and values move forward.

May we choose to enter into the mess today. May we all do it honestly. May we all do it with integrity & courage.

Kevin

PS – So… we made it to our friend’s house. The mess was messy. But we navigated it quickly, honestly and with care. I’m really thankful for my teammate!

515am.

“DAAAAAAAAADDDD!!!!!!!!” at the TOP of his little lungs.

Jump out of bed. Run down the hall into the 4 year olds room.

“What’s going on buddy?”

“I want to snuggle with you.”

“I thought your room was on fire.”

“Nope. Just want to snuggle.”

You see, we trained him very early not to get out of bed.

“If you need anything, just call us and we will come.”

We though we were the parents of the decade. Easy breezy.

And it worked brilliantly. Until now.

Now he screams every morning. Very early. For us to come snuggle.

I mean, the snuggles are awesome. Just REALLY EARLY in the morning.

We are realizing that we overtrained him.

He’s glued to the bed in the morning.

Training children, employees and customers is a good idea. Until it’s not.

I think it is a good idea for us to consider where we are overtraining in our businesses, organizations and family.

What are we trying to control with our training? Are we overtraining in those spaces? Does our training keep people from making creative decisions? Does it glue them in place?

Over training happens more quickly than we think it does. And it can be disastrous.

May we week pay attention to how we train, and when to turn people loose to lean into their own creative decision making.

Kevin

 

Most of us are in the business of “Proclaiming Something Good.”

How do we get that message out there? To our customers, our friends/family, our partners or donors?

In business, ministry and family/friends, we tend to operate in isolated silos.

Sometimes it is at a result of fear, insecurities, or worry. Other times it is because we think we can muster enough energy to do it all on our own.

We go at it alone. Isolated in a silo.

We must learn to operate in community that is outside of our normal comfort zones.

Don’t only strategize in your office.

Don’t only promote your ideas on social media. Get out and interact with real people!

Don’t only call your customers/supporters when you need something. Give to them! Make deposits into their lives.

We must vow to constantly leave the silo of our office, the silo of our emotions and venture out. 

Out & About into the great unknown with others. That’s where life is the best!

Your silo is full of great things – get out there and share the harvest with people.

We must value hitting the streets and getting out to build authentic relationships, to earn the right to be heard with customers, donors and friends.

What good news do you have to invite people into? It may be a great idea, a revolutionary product, a reconciled relationship or an invigorating ministry direction. Vow with me to leave the silo today.

Kevin

PS – Here is a great story of someone who chose to be Out & About. Not only were the lives of the supporters in the story drastically changed, this decision to operate outside of the silo changed the very course of history.

At one point or another, it was all impossible.

A ship that can make it across the ocean? Ridiculous.

Indoor plumbing? Ha – never going to happen.

Current that runs through wires to light a house so that we don’t have to use the incredibly risky business of lighting a home with candles? No way.

Airplanes? Yea right.

Internet? HUH?

Internet without wires?

Free internet?

20 years ago = NO WAY.

The existence of a God who gives a rip about our lives? Maybe, maybe not.

Impossibilities have the tendency to stall us, sidetrack us, kill us.

But then, if we are self aware (and other aware) enough, things slowly become possible.

How? People are wired to be intensely creative, industrious, discontent and curious.

As a result, we tend to ask the question: What if?

What if we could make it across that ocean, have electricity, move the bathroom indoors, fly in the sky, connect the whole world to the internet of things, believe that God intimately cares about our lives?

What if the things that we can’t even see (though we can often feel them) really exist?

The power of possible possibilities becomes increasingly incredible. 

We each face real impossibilities each day. Some that we are born into, some that are a result of our circumstances or the choices we (or others around us) have made.

Fortunately, that reality is not the end of the story. Yet.

Impossible things may actually become possible some day.

Each of us are creative, have the ability to be industrious, to gather our emotions of discontent, and lean into our curious tendencies.

May we each strive have faith in the unseen, and hope that things are possible.

Our stories are still be written, and that’s a good thing.

Kevin

 

Every now and then, someone who isn’t picked to be the winner ends up winning.

The odds are against them.

They rise to the occasion.

They surprise everyone (including themselves sometimes)

What underdogs do to win:

They practice like champions.

They are humble.

They work within their limits, and capitalize on the limits of their opponents.

They dig deep. Very Deep.

They are thankful.

We tell our 4 year old that “Winning isn’t everything”

That is important to keep in mind.

More importantly, is how do underdogs react to their circumstances?

If we find ourselves as underdogs, how do we react?

If (when) people count us out, will we give up?

Will we humbly dig deep?

Will we work hard at honing our craft?

May we each see ourselves as having value, as worthy of the cause we champion, and may we dig deep – no matter how the world views us.

Kevin

 

Our world is full of messaging that says “It’s all about you. Go get want you want. Go at it alone. You don’t need anyone but yourself.”

“Army of One”

“I’m Lovin’ it”

“Be all that you can be”

“Have it your way”

I think this mindset is especially true for those of us who have grown up in the Midwest:

“I can do it on my own”

“I don’t need help, because receiving help is like a handout”

“God helps those who helps themselves.” (That’s a lie by the way. Though personal responsibility is a virtue, God has a tendency to help the helpless.)

I’m learning, mostly the hard way, that choosing Interdependence over Independence is a much more life giving way and to live.

Choosing interdependence makes us vulnerable, and that’s risky business.

“I need you & you need me”

“Let’s do this in community rather than isolation”

“Let’s be real, honest and talk it through”

“You have some plenty and so do I. Let’s tackle this project, partnership/marriage, child rearing or cause together”

In my field of fundraising and inviting people into the story of YL, I think that Luke 8:1-3 has some great insight into how to make this choice of Interdependence vs. Independence.

And if you’re not into the Bible, I get it. There is actually some really amazing stuff in there.

I’m confident that your business & relationships will be better if you read on. Because this life we live is all about fostering relationships that are honorable. Jesus is the pro’s pro when it comes to this.

A quick list of what is happening in this account:

• The woman are supporting Jesus out of their own means
  • Jesus needed them (like we need others)
• The women are traveling with Jesus from town to town
  • Jesus doesn’t raise capital with a bunch of VC’s or fundraise for his ministry in one city, leave his supporters behind and say “I’ll be back when I need more money”
  • He brings them along on a significant journey as partners (we should do this too)
• Their lives (and the world) were drastically changed as a result

What would happen if we choose to bring people along on a journey today and to depend on each other?

To invite them into new significance, truth-telling, adventure, new life, new hope? To allow ourselves to give to them and also receive from them.

Would the world and the people around us change if we decided to do it all on our own? (Most likely not)

What this looks like:

“Come tour our factory – the product we are making and the people who are making it are incredible folks”

“Come see our camp – your life will never be the same!”

“Have you heard this story?”

“I want you to meet this couple – they are world changers.”

“I’ll work hard to be honest”

May we be builders of community as we learn to choose Interdependence over Independence.

May our lives, and the lives of those who support us never be the same.

Kevin

 

Knowing (and correctly pronouncing) someone’s name is a very powerful thing.

“It’s Stephen. Not Steph-on. Stephen. No, not Steven, Stephen.”

It takes a little bit of effort to remember and pronounce a person’s name every now and then.

Work hard to get it right. Maybe write it down, say it to yourself in your head a few times, repeat it in conversation with the person when you first meet.

If we ignore the problem (Like Nike did in this story) or we don’t fix the knowing of name, our brand loses, our cause suffers, our customer is invalidated and relationships end or sour.

That effort will be worth it in the short and long term. People need to know that they are valuable enough to be remembered and known correctly. 

Though Nike clearly doesn’t need more money, this faux pas likely cost them tens of millions of dollars.

What will it cost us if we don’t take the time to remember someone’s name? To show that we are present enough to get this important detail right?

Many of us have had the experience of: “I’ve met that person at least 5 times and they act like it is the first time, every time.”

We are overlooked, unnoticed, passed by.

When we meet someone who we admire and they remember our name, we feel:

Noticed.

Valued.

Known.

Included.

Named. 

The power of name is incredibly valuable. Is shows that we are present, that we care.

When we do not remember someone’s name, we must own it. Apologize and work hard to remember it the next time.

Let’s work hard to actually know people, their names and their stories this week.

Kevin

 

 

 

Whether it is in marriage, business, or non profit work – every now and then, we find ourselves attempting to convince others to give us something that we feel like we need.

“I’ve been married to you for 9 years now, and you still don’t vacuum the living room as often as I would hope.”

“You should invest in this new venture.”

“I’d like to pitch you this product.”

“I barely know you, but would you donate to our cause?”

Here is the question we often ask ourselves: “How do I get want I want from this person?”

As a result, we find ourselves treating our family, customers, donors or colleagues like ATM machines. Only making (sometimes demanding) withdrawals when we need something from them.

What if we approached this through a different vantage point? Through the lens of “Plenty”?

As in, not only do they have plenty to offer you (DUH), but you have plenty to offer them.

As in energy, expertise, friendship, a listening ear, care, community, an innovative product or an invitation into a story.

Here’s a quote from a really good book – “At the present time, your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. The goal is equality.”

We must work to put ourselves on equal footing with people who have ‘less’ than us or ‘more’ than us.

We must ask ourselves “What is their need? Have I been given something that I can give away to them out of my plenty?”

What if we valued making deposits into the life of our spouses, into the lives of our clients, deposits into the families of those who support our ministry, or deposits into the vision of their businesses?

I think we should all seriously consider it. We all have incredible things to offer each other.

May you go forth in confidence today, knowing that you have been given things that are worthy of sharing.

May we work hard to share our lives with each other today.

Kevin

PS – I’m really good at vacuuming. Plus it doesn’t take that long. It’s a part of my plenty that I can give to Sarah. If I choose…