Imagine this with me: 22 yards of dirt, 10 tons of crushed concrete, 8 yards of sand, leaking well room, dry lock, hammer drill, grass seed, too much raking, a skid steer and a tractor. Two full weekends of working very hard in the front yard with family and friends.

And then this…

A sweet ol’ lady that I’ve never met in the 2+ years of living in this neighborhood strolls down the street past our house and pauses at the end of our driveway to engage in conversation.

“It’s surely going to rain this weekend. That will do wonders for your dandelions.”

So I respond, semi-very kindly, “We sprayed them early this week – so hopefully they will be gone soon.”

(Insert semi-very fake smile)

“That’ll be interesting,” she notes.

I stare. Semi-Very-Kindly.

“You know,” she says, “That dandelions……”

Blah…Blah…Blah… (insert 5th grade science lesson on how weeds propagate)

“Pretty soon the whole neighborhood will be yellow because of you.”

I literally bite the inside of my cheek and say: “We are doing our best around here. One day at a time.”

The sweet lady that I never met. Criticized me. And pissed me off.

“You don’t even know me!” I thought. “I have this, this and Sarah has her business happening. Plus we have great friends and family, and two wonderful little boys and one big boy (man) in our family. We work hard. Multiple jobs, full schedules, and can’t afford to spend more money on our stupid front yard this month.”

Criticism is hard. Even when it comes from strangers. 

Deep breath.

What will we do? When unwanted criticism n  comes our way?

My tendency is defensiveness.

= Not a good tendency.

Can we actually take a deep breath? Listen well and consider that the little ‘ol lady might be onto something?

My hope is that, maybe, we could.

Each of us are doing our best right? 

Kevin

PS – I’m calling Tru Green tomorrow. These dandelions might actually make the whole world yellow if we don’t act soon. 

We live in a time where community = Facebook friends, twitter followers, & Instagram likes.

The problem with this is that… well… “likes” “follows” “hearts” etc do not = real relationships.

So how do we have real relationships that bind people together? Through thick and thin?

What is the amplification of camaraderie?

What is the ROI on togetherness?

What is the value of journeying together?

In order to answer these questions, We must work hard to identify and create common denominators.

What do people have in common? What do they like to do? What are they good at being/accomplishing?

As we answer these questions, we must learn to value serving people.

Can we make regular deposits into their lives?

Whether they are family members, customers or supporters of our ministry, may we never treat people like ATM machines. Only making withdrawals when we need something.

We must value inviting our people into something significant. A new product, story, or way of living.

May we give, and work hard to create real community that lasts.

Kevin

PS – here is a really good story of some folks with common denominators. The very world was changed because of the experiences that they had together.

PSS – If you are a person who relays on others for ministry support, here are some notes for you to peruse.

The road we travel can be a long one. Or sometimes the road is cut way shorter than we expect.

We find ourselves in circumstances that sends us to our knees, throws us off course and discombobulates our sense of self, direction and hope.

Enter the “WHY?” question.

Why this?

Why this?

Why is this happening?

These are all people we know to varying degrees. Donor/Friend, family, esteemed colleague.

You see, sometimes, we feel like lambs among wolves.

That our throats are getting ripped out, that we are bleeding along the way.

The people around us hurt. We hurt.

As a follower of Jesus, this should not be news to me. Though it often takes me by surprise and hurts deeply.

My role, in the middle of these tumultuous stories is:

To make attempts to trust God more than I trust myself.

To be a promoter of peace.

To value long term relationships.

To lean into a policy of thankfulness.

Even when the WHY makes zero sense at all to me.

I’m convinced, if we continue down the road of sorrow and being eaten alive by the pain of this world, that our outcome has the potential to be joy.

Wouldn’t that be amazing?

Kevin

 

 

 

Last week, the Panama Papers made headlines world wide.

Now, the news story is eerily silent.

Like secrets tend to be.

We have a mantra in our family: “We don’t keep secrets.”

Period. None. Over. No secrets.

Sometimes we have surprises – like birthdays, gifts, silly adventures.

But. No. Secrets. Ever.

With regard to the Panama Papers, all these people have been living with big secrets…holding tons of financial, political and relational information…

Until they aren’t secrets anymore.

You see, secrets don’t stay secrets forever. 

Until someone (significant) finds out.

Like our spouse, coworker, supervisor or friend.

Then what?

Wow.

May we all live in reality. Never keeping the truth from those we love and those that we do not even know as we attempt to live with honesty and integrity.

Kevin

 

So… this is a new theme in my life.

Pirates.

The long gnarly beards, ships, swords, treasure type of pirates. Think Peter Pan. Not Somalia.

You name it, pirates rule the conversation of our household and car rides these days.

We are on the way to drop off a good friend and say hello to their cows, chickens, kids and his really great wife.

When J-Man asks “Does God love pirates?”

So I ask my great friend, in the passenger seat – “Mr. Curt – what do you think?”

Mr Curt: “Yeah – God Loves pirates. God loves everyone,” he tells him.

Curt knows God and the love and forgiveness of God well.

“But, does he like them and love them?”

Well, now, that’s a really great question my boy…

Yes. Yes – he loves them and he likes them.

“But does he likes what they do when they steal stuff and hurt people on their ships?”

Hmmm… well…

Ok… let me think about this, my 4 year old son. They didn’t really cover this in seminary.

Here we go: God loves and likes everyone. Ever. For all of history and all of the future.  

Sometime we make bad decisions, like not respecting each other, or yelling at each other, or taking stuff that belongs to someone else. Like treasure, ships, toys, hearts and hopes.

God isn’t pumped about that. But he still likes and loves us. Just like the pirates.

Period. End of sentence. Forgiven. Done.

You see, God lives in this place called hopefulness that is filled with a redemptive purpose. That all has been made right. For me, for you, for the pirates. 

Can we breath that in today? In the hope of forgiveness? That all has been made right? That God might actually care about us? About pirates?

We are no different than they – those stinky, rotten pirates.

And yes, God love/likes us. Just like them.

Kevin

 

Napa Wine from our dear friends at Bos Wine and new friends who have family at Perata Vineyards, Salumi, ocean trout, Poke, Sushi Burritos, and of course, Pizza House – an Oak Park favorite.

Sarah and I rounded out a very busy month of travel this past weekend in our old hometown of Sacramento.

Not only did we taste and see great food and wine, we tasted and saw great friendships that filled our souls with thankfulness. 

What a gift to be able to attend & briefly speak at the main fundraiser in our old YL area.

To see friends that have shaped our lives, loved us well, been in the trenches shoulder to shoulder with us for 10 years.

We are beyond grateful for that season of life and the continued friendships. 

Taste and See in this way and our lives will never be the same!

What relationships are you experiencing lately? What time and energy have you put in to maintain those friendships?

May each of us dig deep into ourselves and taste and see the value of friendship, live in the memory of days gone by and celebrate the ever-now together.

Thanks to the City of Sacraments and all of its fine people. We love you, cherish you and miss you.

Kevin

PS – come visit Pure Michigan! We love it here – and you will too. The people are FANTASTIC! And the lakes don’t have sharks, salt water or jelly fish!

 

 

Lukas Graham has an interesting song that is being played on the radio pretty much nonstop the last few weeks. It’s been reverberating in my soul for weeks now.

It tells the story of growing up, the power of sharing stories and his rise to fame.

Then it shifts gears toward the future. “Soon we’ll be 30 years old…”

And then again: “Soon I’ll be sixty years old – I hope my children will come and visit once or twice a month.”

Even though I’m not nearly as young and hip as Lukas (and only mostly infamous), I find myself in the middle of a tension. Much like Lukas writes about.

I have a job that I love, that I spend a lot of time doing, and that brings me life.

I also want my wife and boys to know me. I want to know them. I want to be present. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

If you talk to my wife, she would say that we do know each other, and we do spend lots of time together. Thankfully, I am learning how to do this better!

If I am honest, sometimes, I overvalue providing for my family financially. My brain whirls with work, even when I am home or on vacation. I want to prove my worth.

I want to be a present neighbor, friend and brother/son/husband. And I’m taking steps (counseling 🙂 to do just that.

Now, I will continue to put my heart and soul into my job.

But I will continue to vow to value my family more than my vocation?

What will the cost be if I don’t make this choose?

We all find ourselves here. And, yes, we have great responsibility to those around us that we should not take lightly.

May we lean into those responsibilities with joy, but never at the expense of having quality and depth of relationships those around us. Especially our spouse and kids.

When I’m 60 years old, I’m hoping my kids come to visit WAY MORE than once or twice a month.

Kevin

 

 

Wow. What an ending.

Up three. Other team scores a 3 pointer to tie it.

4.7 seconds left.

Dribble down. Pass. Shoot. Score. Game.

Finishing strong is rare quality.

I feel like I am a good starter. Finishing can be a different story sometimes.

I need to work hard in order to be ready to finish strong. To be ready for the pass from a teammate. To have the self awareness and confidence to hit that last shot.

We all have places in our lives, business, ministry and relationship were we need to stay the course, keep our eyes on the prize and finish strong.

Readiness is key. Will we be prepared? Practiced?

Where is that for you today? This week?

The buzzer will go off.

Will we be ready before it does?

Kevin

Real, deep, rich, honest, grace-filled friendship is a rare things these days.

We had the privilege of experiencing all of those things this past weekend in Chicago, spending the weekend with some dear friends.

I lived with the Derrington’s in Sacramento for a couple of years well over a decade ago.

Eric and I watched a lot of baseball, grilled a bunch, talked business and ministry while Sabrina went to medical school. (When she wasn’t busy studying, she joined us too!)

Both of their lives have had tremendous impact on my life and growth since those days in the early 2000’s.

They moved to Los Angeles, I wept, and we didn’t see much of each other. We did stay in decent touch over the phone though.

They had kids, we had kids, they moved from LA to Chicago, we moved to Michigan.

The impact that they have had in my life continues into Sarah’s life and the life of our boys. And it’s really crazy how much we love them and their kids! Sarah and I would do ANYTHING for them. And we know they would do the same for us.

Pause – tears well up in my eyes. I’m so thankful.

Through it all though, the intentionality of friendship kept us from drifting apart. It’s phone call here and there. A text. A little road trip to spend some life together.

Sure, there were screaming kids throwing tantrums, snotty noses, & sweet moments of sharing between the littles this past weekend. Parts of it were exhausting, but more parts were life giving.

We’ve lived life together – through lots of thick and thin. We vacation together, attempt to care for and raise our kids together, eat great food and drink great wine together. We talk about real things: finances, work, faith, child rearing, marriage.

If you haven’t noticed, together is the theme of our friendship.

Funny thing is, they are supporters of our YL work too. They are really in it with us – in so many ways.

Friends become donors, donors become friends. At the end of the day, friends are friends. 

Eric and Sabrina have seen us at our best and at our worse. And they still love us.

And man, do we love them.

Kevin

PS – there is a great story here about what it means to inhabit the lives of people. Note verse 7 especially – “Do not move around from house to house.” I love that Jesus values stable relationships, and living life in real community. Eating together, praying together, sharing time and space with each other. May we each strive to have long term, loyal, sacrificial and consistent relationships with those that God has put in our lives.

 

Driving in the car.

Stuck in Chicago traffic.

“Dad! B-man is throwing up all over himself!”

Sarah is driving. I am reaching over the carseat, trying to clean the 1.5 year old up.

Sarah pulls over, and we dive into the mess together.

B-man stands buck naked on the sidewalk. In the rain. Crying.

Grab a new set of clothes from the trunk. Get warm in the front seat with mom. Clean up the car seat with a bunch of baby wipes.

Get back on the road. Fight traffic to our final destination. 9 miles in 79 minutes.

Messes can sneak up on us. They catch us by surprise every now and then.

If we sit in them… well….it gets stinky…

If we meet the mess head on, pause to pull over, and lean into fighting the mess with a teammate, we might actually make some progress in cleaning up the mess.

What type of messes do we find ourselves in today?

It could be something big or small in marriage.

Maybe a remark made to a colleague that  we regret. Dive in. Own it and ask for forgiveness or grace.

Or we treated a customer dishonestly.

Stop now. Clean it up. Make it right with that colleague/partner/spouse/customer.

When we enter the mess, relationships stay in tact, we build trust with those around us, and ideas, mission and values move forward.

May we choose to enter into the mess today. May we all do it honestly. May we all do it with integrity & courage.

Kevin

PS – So… we made it to our friend’s house. The mess was messy. But we navigated it quickly, honestly and with care. I’m really thankful for my teammate!